my version of “last thoughts…”
What am i doing, where am i going,
twisting and turning like im burning inside.
wonderin’ why time passes me by.
so many faces and places to see,
but im standing still on this mountain peak.
overlooking the world with a single glance,
there’s more to it than a silly dance,
a silly talk with pointless words.
seeking for more than mundane verbs.
dreaming of substance not from a suit,
a meeting call, or at conventional booths.
not from a beggar who never gives,
and those who don’t know how to live.
and i dont know if i’ll ever find,
the treasure buried deep in the mind.
i start to quiver from the sudden chill,
it makes me sad and contrarily ill.
cuz there are words one ought to hear,
but circumstances i ought to fear.
and nobody said it’d be this hard.
too many roles in playing one part.
so you ask yourself, am I really free,
or are we limited to what we should be?
should I be on this one way train,
and be caught stranded in the pouring rain?
or take a certain path in a fork road,
only later to find that I am lost.
but like a song that sings out hope,
like a falling man holding onto the rope,
or a baby bird that learns how to fly,
what im saying is,
time will give us another try.
so don’t give up and don’t give in,
don’t let yourself erase from deep within.
but it ain’t the uncertainty i fear most;
it’s the lifeless eyes i can’t see hope,
it’s in broken homes that drown the laughter,
and its the unfinished written chapters,
it makes me wonder why,
good things come and go,
fade against time and eventually die.
so what do i need,
i need something special alright.
something you can’t find in riches and gold,
it ain’t in a fur coat or anything tangible,
it ain’t in big pictures that elude the small,
it ain’t in suits and gowns you see at a ball,
and it aint the time you think you were cool,
thinkin’ you’re better than any hopeful fool,
cuz hope is what i need and i need it bad,
i need it like an anxious man and his paper bag.
i need something different,
something like a canvas with colorful prints,
intricately pieced to capture its’ beauty.
a beauty we tend to overlook a million times,
but if i could i wouldn’t give it up for a million dimes,
times ten, i still wouldn’t give it up then.
so where do i go to find this hope?
do I hop on something with two wheels,
and just roll against the sun’s rays,
against the desert’s heat,
the high mountains and ocean’s bay,
just to be swept away by a breadth of fresh air?
